What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Is it common for girlfriends to have close male friends who are single and not related to them?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

What! how could you do that?

Has anyone ever participated in a gang bang and what was it like?

What do you mean son?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Why do a lot of women have a crush on my boyfriend when they know he is in a relationship with me? I am starting to feel insecure too. What should I do?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

What sexual experience did you have at a highway rest area?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Do you know what she said mum?

Brad Pitt Wears a Cobalt Blue Velvet Blazer and Barrel Jeans with Ines de Ramon - instyle.com

True - how I loved my mum!